ask and ye shall receive, or, things to do with kale.

it's true, eat your leafy greens. nobody likes a constipated fatty.

when you live alone, like we do, it can be hard to finish off the food before it spoils. kale keeps forever. somebody put that shit on a t-shirt for me please.

kale comes in several varieties.

standard:


Tuscan or Lacinto or black kale (sweeter, my favorite, but harder to find in a pinch):


here are three things you can do with kale:

one: roast that bitch.
it's not just for carcass or root vegetables anymore. preheat to 400.
wash the kale, if you're into that sort of thing, and tear it (she likes to get physical) into manageable pieces. toss it in a little bit of the best olive oil you can find, lemon juice, salt, chili flakes, and garlic powder. lay it down in a smooth layer on a baking sheet and roast in the oven for 8-10 minutes. it'll get nice and crispy. fast, hot and tasty. an excellent accompaniment to the aforementioned mac 'n' cheese or fried eggs for brunch the morning after. variations here include subbing lime for lemon and soy sauce for salt.


two: like they did at tara.
i was going to do a whole post on my traditional southern-style greens recipe, but here it is. this works for collards, turnip greens, mustard greens, and chard as well.
get a pot. heat up some butter and olive oil. sweat some garlic and onion for a couple of minutes. throw in your greens (washed and chopped into big strips), some salt, a splash of apple cider vinegar, chili flakes, and stock. cook covered at low-med heat until texture of the greens is to your liking. some of you may choose to de-spine the leaves first. i only do that if i'm really trying to impress someone. variations here include throwing in some bacon you've rendered (i like to do this in the last five minutes, along with some of the bacon grease... irksome when the ladies don't dig on swine). sometimes i also throw in some tomatoes when i put the greens and other business in. kale really likes acid.


three: john gives it to me raw (name that tune)
she's a tough old broad, sure, but rub her down with olive oil and she's... okay, enough.
anyway, despite how thick and fibrous kale is you can use it in a salad. the trick is to massage it with olive or hazelnut oil or a combination of the two. i like to use standard kale for this. after you wash the kale, tear it or cut into your preferred size pieces. then put it in a bowl and massage with oil and salt. you'll see the color become quite vibrant. then i like to throw in some dried cranberries, lemon juice, vinegar, and a table spoon of Maille Dijon mustard (which I will also eat all by itself) and some cubed ricotta salata. mix it all up and you've got a winner salad.

my favorite kale salad, by the by, is served at Back Forty. they make an amazing, traditional Caeser dressing and sub kale for romaine. it's incredible, and i hope it's back on the menu soon.